More Than Meets The Eye: Falling Apart

My dog died.

It took me awhile to get this sentence out. This three dreaded words.

The first few days of her death was horrible. Literally horrible.

I cried at home. In my room. In school. In the classroom.

Yea' it was really really bad.

She died on the 11th of April. Slightly a week ago. It was a Wednesday.

I went back hometown to visit my sick grandpa.

She was already quite sick at that time, coughing, wheezing, everything. I didn't pay attention to her as usual. I thought it was normal, it didn't matter, she was like that often.

When I came back the next day I saw her on the ground. Lying ever so still. I was in the car then. My dad was the first to noticed. He said: "Your dog's dead. She's not moving." I laughed really loud back then. I wasn't gonna fall for it. My dad was just pulling my leg. But that was before I came out of the car. My dad open the front gate and I walked closer to my dog whom I thought wasn't dead, all the while calling her name. "Melody! Darling! Darling! DARLING.." She didn't move neither did she get up. Her back was facing me so I couldn't see properly. She was lying in her pile of waste. Houseflies surrounded her. She was dirty, smelly and yucky. Yet she didn't move. Not a bit. I panicked. I ran the other way around the parked car, my mom's car was parked inside the house, to see clearly. And I did see clearly.

I saw her.

Her white big eyes, opened.

Cautiously I moved forward not believing my eyes. Her limbs were stiff. Suddenly it just clicked. She was dead. She really was dead. It wasn't a joke anymore. Nothing was. My hands went cold. My heart stopped. I didn't know what to feel. The only thing I wanted to do was cry.

Slowly I dragged my ragged form into my room. Threw myself on the bed and the tears started pouring automatically. It hurt alot. Honestly..

When I thought I was okay more tears came. Memories, flashbacks..

The times she sat by my piano to watch me play it. The times she curled up by my side to let me pet her. The times she played fetch with me.

Now it's just gone. No more.

No more calling her 'Fat pig'. No more 'Retard dog'. No more..

I miss her. Until now..

I thought I've gotten over it. But I guess not..

Am crying all over again.

I want my dog back.