Monday, 31 December 2012


And so it's the last day of the year. 

So much has happened since the last I blogged.

Bitter sweet memories.. 

Basically to run you through. I've finished my major exam, SPM about a month ago. I've had prom, 1 week ago. I've had my first trip with friends to Genting and sat on a roller coaster for the first time in my life, that was 2 weeks ago. I spent Christmas Eve with someone special. I spent Christmas playing the piano for an event in my church. Currently, I'm preparing to go to GLO, which is a Christian Bible Camp or something like that. It's a 6 weeks kinda thing and I'm not really prepared to go honestly. 

I remembered the day I finished my last exam paper. The subject was Chinese, typical. The amount of joy cursing through my veins the moment the clock ticked its final seconds. Nothing could compare to the amount of happiness I felt that day. No more studying I told myself, not anymore. Not after studying so bloody hard for more than half a year. I remembered rushing back home without a sigh nor care about the paper I had just sat for. I remembered eating my lunch so very happily. I remembered throwing all my books away. The joy! I remembered touching the keys of the laptop so lovingly. It has been awhile.. I was free again. 

Prom. The headache. I tell you this, I'm never ever doing an event ever again if I hate the people I work with. Seriously, I couldn't ask for "better" committee members. Who gives a damn about teamwork I ask you. No one. Talking bad behind my back. Saying I've never done enough but in the end you can't even do your part. Laughs. I have spite for everyone of them. I smile, but deep inside I'm cringing. We had financial issues. Big financial issues. Why? You ask me. We, oh wait, correction, they couldn't sell all the tickets. And I had only gave each one 10 tickets to sell. 10. Not 100. Not 1000. But 10. Can you feel my anger now? I have lots to be frustrated off. Prom night was not fun and games for me. There they were enjoying while I was doing what? Counting money, figuring out how much we were in debt. For goodness sake, it's my dad paying the f**king bill not your dad, not his dad or her dad. We didn't cover our expenses in the end. It wasn't my fault. I did my part. How did I settle the remainder 1k we owed the hotel. Well, my dad paid for it. Where were the other committee members who didn't do their job and owed me money. They disappeared. Just like that. Not a word. Don't even bother to ask me how were we gonna settle the money. Didn't even bother to thank me if they knew I paid for the remainder cash. I'm debating with myself whether I should just call them up and demand my money back because they aren't replying my text. Should I? I won't be around any longer. 

Genting was amazing. I love roller coasters. I seriously do. I wanna go again. :( 

Christmas will forever be Christmas. This year's choir performance, the songs were nice but dynamic wise, not so there yet. Could've been better but it was okay. :)

I should stop writing now. 



Saturday, 21 July 2012

10 Days Countdown Starts..


Piano exam coming up this 31st July. Am unnerved by it.

Haven't achieved perfection yet. 

Still mistakes repeated over and over.


Bah! It's not helping now at this point. 

I've got a feeling I'll fail. 


Sunday, 8 July 2012

Making Myself Feel Better

I'm having a rather weird/crazy week.

Funny thoughts keep popping up in my head.

Feel especially vulnerable now.

Insecurity haunts me.

I feel worthless and unsatisfied with myself.

Could use a little motivation now.

My brain's constantly putting me down.

Gonna explode soon.

Might sleep early tonight.



Monday, 2 July 2012

Hot & Cold

I'm finally feeling like I fit in.

Then I don't.

I'm finally feeling like I understand you guys better. 

Then I don't.

I'm finally feeling I can communicate better now.

Then I don't.

It's this hot and cold feeling that I hate.

I always have this feeling that I'm a step away from getting close to you. Just one step. Somehow that last step always seems so hard. 

When I'm brave enough to move forward, all things start going backwards. It's like a mistake I never knew I made. 

3 steps forward 1 step back? 

Nahhh... It feels more like 3 steps forward 4 steps back.

Sometimes I get so frustrated I just give up trying. 

No more trying to be like them. No more trying to fit in. No more pretentiousness. Just be yourself.

But I don't like to be alone. Nobody does.

The "outstanding" one. The "different" kid. 

I wanna be a somebody not a nobody. 

But not all things go my way. 

Life. As it is. 



Tuesday, 19 June 2012


Grandparents are staying over at my place today.

Ain't happy about it.

Not that I don't love them or anything, just don't like it that they're coming over to stay.

It's as if my privacy is being taken away.

They're sleeping in my room.

Why don't we have a bigger house, seriously.. 

Then we'll all be happy. 

They brought durian with them. 

That's the up side.


Tuesday, 12 June 2012


The heat is getting harder and harder to bear.

Each passing day is as if a year had just pass.

No longer will you sit under a fan and feel reasonably comfortable. No longer will you wear a singlet and shorts and feel the wind blowing through your light cotton clothes. 

Now you need air conditioner and even shorter singlets and shorts. Wait, you don't even need to wear anything. Just saying. 

As I type this, beads of sweat are trailing down my forehead unto my arms and so on. 

I am sticky and smelly. 

Ahhh.. Blame the pollution and blame mankind for all their destruction. 

Save Mother Earth you dumb people! 

Don't drive, walk! 

Don't cut down immature trees, cut.. Don't cut anything! 

Don't breathe! Un-breathe. :) (Breathing produces more Carbon Dioxide) 

You get my point. 

Now do your part! 



Saturday, 9 June 2012

Pool & Beer

Had an great dinner tonight at my cousin's restaurant. 

Didn't actually planned to go there at first but due to certain consequences, we ended up there. 

The shop's located in TTDI Jaya. In this newly open mall, Space U8 eco mall. Its location is kinda horrible because all you can see there is factories after factories. Secluded. Dark. You get my point. And the mall area doesn't look like a mall. (Just saying.) BUT.

My cousin's restaurant is amazing. The deco may seem a little lacking in some areas but put all the weird and funny places together and it looks good. :) The food is fairly good. The best part of the whole restaurant is that it's partly food & dining area and partly a pub, with a bar and a pool table. 

Plates is the name of the restaurant & Bottles is the name of the pub. 

*They serve beer only. What you expect? Shah Alam mah.. :P

If you're stuck in Shah Alam with nowhere else to go. Dude, you have to drop by here. Seriously. A quiet place to chill out with ya' buddies. (Y)