Growing Up

I stumbled upon a memory. A memory of me as a kid. 

I was as innocent as the breeze. As carefree as a bird. As lively as.. 

You get the point. 

Ahh.. That was me, a while back. 

I remembered I used to say: "I don't give a damn about what other people think. I'm just gonna grow up with my own speed. I don't care about how immature I am as long as I feel good about myself." 

Well, that's not true. 

You can't do that. 

Not in this world.

If you think you can, you're just lying to yourself. 

At 17, you're forced to think about your future. Your career. Your life ahead of you. Where to further your studies, how? What course? Which college & after that what uni? 

You start thinking about all the possibilities. 

You think of death. (Not always, but once in awhile. Say you haven't and I'll call you a liar.) 

You can't simply just go around all childish-ly and expect the world to treat you kind. Life ain't no cheerful rainbow. 

The fact is, you need to grow up. 

It's the cycle of life. 

You can't keep hiding or shunning away from it like a coward. You'll eventually have to face it one day or another. 

Honestly, there are times when I feel that my friends have it too easy. 

What being childish. Hell, they don't even care. They giggle like kids, smile like kids, even the topics discussed are mostly childish. 

I dare not tell them in fear that they might call me "high & mighty" and say stuff like "oh she thinks she's so mature now eh.." 

I prefer less problems than more. 

My grandfather's accident was a wake up call. 

Will be visiting him this Saturday. Might miss church again. 

#NeedToGrowUpSoon

xoxo